Don’t be fooled into supporting puppy farmers and back yard breeders. Do your research and ask for advice.
I’ve written about this before, this version is my funny one, but the point is the same, don’t fall for lies. Here are the excuses you will hear on your search for the best puppy and the translation.
They’re not Kennel Club registered, they’re just pets, you’re not showing it are you?
I have stolen/found this dog and I’m not 100% certain that next doors dog isn’t a cross.
I bought this pedigree dog from a breeder who sensibly endorsed the paperwork to stop me registering the puppies until I did the health tests. I didn’t bother.
I don’t need health tests, look at the parents, don’t they look fine to you?
I am Superman and have x-ray vision. This enables me to know whether my dogs have any form of illness. Don’t tell anyone because I am retired.
It will cost you another £100, but I can KC register it if you want?
It really costs £18 a puppy, but I can see you are too stupid to know that. Also see first point above.
This registration is better than the KC one, that’s just for show dogs/snobs
It isn’t and none of them are. My dog might be a cross, but this certificate enabled me to add £150 to the price. Yes, the parents really are called Minnie Mouse and Donald Duck.
I don’t have the mother because…….
She got run over/belongs to my terminally ill relative/had to go stay at friends because she’s upset puppies are going. I really hope the terminally ill one gets you as I got these from a friend/puppy farm and that story usually embarrasses people into not asking questions.
There’s only one puppy because I sold the rest, this is the last one.
I steal puppies regularly and pass them on to idiots. Yes, he is big for 8 weeks isn’t he?
I have health tested, but haven’t got the certificates back yet, vet said the dog’s hips were fine.
My relative is delusional and thinks he is Superman or a vet.
I have KC registered them, but the KC takes ages
Just give me the money, and I will string you along for ages when you will not care any more because you will be attached to the dog. Don’t I look honest guv?
I’ve had to put Mum out there, she doesn’t like people taking the puppies
Yes I know she is trying to smash the window to get to you, surely you know what hormones do? Please ignore the bandage I am wearing, that’s a coincidence.
I will meet you at the services as I live up a mountain/am having work done/happen to be going your way.
I am amazed you are stupid enough to do this. When I roll my window down and put my hand out for the money, you give it to me! You do make it so easy for us puppy farmers, I thank you.
It’s a new/rare colour so it costs more
Basically I messed up the breeding as I used the first dog I found. You haven’t done your research either, so when I tell you this dog will win Crufts because it is a rare colour, you’ll believe me. Yes, stripes are normal on a Labrador.